Transcript:
“Let’s talk about Stuff.
The Stuff that lives on your hard drive, your devices and on the web.
It’s who you are stuff, where you’ve been and where you’re going stuff.
The stuff that connects you to the people you love.
But sometimes bad stuff can happen to your Stuff.
Your Stuff can get lost. Even stolen.
The thing is, stuff happens.
Which is why you need Norton.
Because what are you without your Stuff?
Better yet, without your Stuff…who are you?”

If you followed along, or even if you’re just discovering this blog for the first time, you’ll see that the last time I posted anything was, well, 10 months ago… just 3 months after I began the project. Before I explain what happened in the past 10 months and what happened with the project, let me tell you a little bit more about what allowed me to start the project to begin with.

After I graduated high school I left home to go to a university in a different city. While I was in school I grew really depressed for a lot of different reasons including my difficulty in adjusting to university life away from family and a completely different town. Among other things, a part of me resented how the living conditions I grew up in stunted me socially, how it left me unprepared in different important skills. Another part of me felt guilt over leaving my family for an awesome life in an awesome city, while they were stuck living in a pile of stuff.

Meanwhile, I was struggling in school and struggling to create a new “independent” identity for myself. I would skip class, then skip weeks at a time, until I withdrew from whole quarters of school. After several incidents both caused by and leading to some psychological issues, my university education sputtered to a halt. Combined with the dismal-looking economy and discussions swirling about the declining worth of a degree, I decided to stop going to school indefinitely. I didn’t move back with my family; I stayed in the city of my university.

I spent months in my apartment becoming more and more depressed. In attempts to get over what I was feeling in this slump of not doing anything at all, I decided to get a job. This was not easy knowing that I would have to “sell” good qualities of myself to employers to get hired while genuinely believing I had no good qualities at all. Within a couple weeks, I found myself with two jobs. Working made me feel more productive, more creative, and just better overall. After several months of working I had a little bit of savings and an idea to help my family with the house, an idea I knew would also be an opportunity for me to understand and overcome some of my own psychological issues. I left both of my jobs and moved back home. It was a challenge in more ways than one. I knew that if I could get to my finish line, I’d prove to myself my strength and willpower, and I’d prove to my family that no obstacle is too daunting.

As you’d expect, I started the project wide-eyed and full of energy and as time went on the magnitude of this project began to chip away at that excitement. The task of cleaning and organizing was very doable despite the heat and logistical puzzle of moving things to get to other things without injuring yourself. What made the whole project come to an end was how emotional it all got.

Based on my experience growing up in that house and then coming back to clean it, I believe that hoarding is a symptom of some bigger, deeper issues that are not being addressed. There are other problems and issues at work here that lead to lots of shopping and no motivation to let go of those items. While I was back at home, I began to see that hoarding was a way to cope with those other issues. But even coming into the project I knew that it would most likely NOT get to the root of the problem, it would just alleviate the overwhelming feeling associated with the amount of stuff in the house and the daunting task of trying to clean it up. As the project went on the other issues began to affect my own psychological well-being. Just when I thought my role as a member of the family would help in the clean-up, it turned out that my role made me more susceptible to being more emotionally affected, and subsequently emotionally unfit to really help.

Meanwhile, the little bit of savings from my few months of working disappeared into the project, and my life back at the university was calling. As much as my family appreciated my help with the house, I could tangibly feel their disappointment in me for dropping out of school. Out of money, out of energy, and out of emotional patience, I decided to slowly ween myself away from the house. The house was just one aspect of my life that while I was focused on it, I neglected everything else. I needed to find some balance, and resign myself to the fact that there are other people out there who are better trained and more suited to help my family.

After the 2010 holiday season I moved back to my college town, immediately got a new job and applied for readmission at the same university I left. I was accepted for admission in May this year and I just started classes again in July. I hope to graduate with my Bachelor’s degree by Spring 2012. And I continue to work on my own personal issues in therapy.

Up until now, I didn’t know how to explain all of the emotional and psychological dimensions this project had without getting emotionally wrapped up in my description. Seriously if I wrote this post several months ago, I would probably use a lot of expletives and burst into tears. Ultimately, it was all of that emotion that led me away from the project and I couldn’t accurately convey that until now.

I really appreciate the comments and emails many of you have sent throughout the project and now. Many people who read this site have been affected by hoarding in some way, and it helps to know that someone else understands not only the logistical magnitude of such an endeavor, but also the emotional weight that’s attached. Thank you again for your continued support.

But… what happened with the house?

I’ll save that story for another time. :]

Today’s Stats:

Number of hours spent: 7
Supplies purchased: None
Amount spent: $0
Number of (13-gallon kitchen) bags trashed: 2
Number of giveaway boxes: 0
Number of (33-gallon) giveaway bags:  0

Butt-Kick Tier 1: Clear out a kitchen drawer
Butt-Kick Tier 2: Clear out a 1/4 of the Kitchen

Progress:

Alas, I’m finally tackling the kitchen. I expected the kitchen to be easy to clean because I figured that most of the stuff was old food to be thrown away or kitchen utensils/appliances that we don’t use.

Once I got started, I found that although there was old food and old kitchen supplies, most of the stuff in the kitchen doesn’t belong in the kitchen to begin with. For example in a single small area I sorted through I found:

• A few picture frames
• Earrings
• Stockings, pantyhose and socks
• An unopened bag of lentils
• Magnets
• Bills and bank statements
• JUNK MAIL (ughhhhh)
• Business cards
• Onion, Apples, Garlic, Ginger
• Mailing labels
• Toys (Rubber balls, Tyco train)
• A Raiders highlights DVD (We’re not even football fans, let alone Raiders fans)
• A 12-CD Case holder, with a picture of Celine Dion on the front
• And of course… coins and dead batteries

I sit in a spot ready to clear through, then realize that I have no idea what to do with all this stuff. Unlike the garage or guest room, I don’t know how recent the miscellaneous items in the kitchen have been used. I don’t know whether the items are important to my family or not.

If the house were completely clean and you gave me the list of items above, I could easily tell you where each item should belong. But right now with the house as it is, when I’m in the moment of sorting I can’t figure out where anything should go. Most of it doesn’t belong in the kitchen, but there’s no place anywhere else to put it.

The overwhelming amount of miscellaneous stuff in the kitchen is just part of the problem. On top of that, the organizational system in place is inadequate. I close my eyes and envision the entire kitchen completely empty. Then I start slowly filling the kitchen in my mind with the things I think are essentials: the fridge, the microwave, toaster oven, crock pot, rice cooker and so on. Then I think of the utensils, pots and pans, dishes, cups, serving bowls and so on. Then the food. Even when I envision the basic things that we would need to have in the kitchen, or the things that would be normal or functional for us, there is still not enough storage.

Not enough cabinets or drawers. We don’t have a pantry to store food. The kitchen is the appropriate size for maybe a 2-bedroom apartment for urbanites who don’t cook often, not for a family of four who cook and bake a lot.

Now what? Even if I get rid of all the things we don’t need in the kitchen, there won’t be room to fit the things we do need. Given how the kitchen is the area used most often and given how my family has been with stuff, keeping stuff in a spot temporarily while we get stuff fixed (like maybe installing a pantry) simply can’t happen. There isn’t such a thing as putting something somewhere temporarily. Not with them, not yet.

I feel stuck. Even after I’ve broken down the project into smaller more manageable pieces, it still feels unmanageable.

Unnecessary stuff still manages to creep into areas they don’t belong. The clutter in the house is still too overwhelming and horribly disorganized. I think once we scale the stuff down into something manageable and once we have organizational systems in place, things will get easier to clean, organize, and maintain. Right now we’re just dealing with the massive purge.

One thing at a time I guess.

Tier 1 (drawer) accomplished. Tier 2, not. And still no pictures.

Today’s Stats:

Number of hours spent: 9
Supplies purchased: None
Amount spent: $0
Number of (13-gallon kitchen) bags trashed: 1
Number of giveaway boxes: 4
Number of (33-gallon) giveaway bags:  2

Butt-Kick Tier 1: Bring out donation items to storage, sort through stuff on the floor of the guest room
Butt-Kick Tier 2: Finish the guest room

Progress:

It’s been two weeks since I last cleaned. A series of events occurred that led to a severely depressed mood, and so I made the decision to step away from the project for a bit so I could piece myself back together well enough to actually get some work done. I’ll get into a little more detail about why I was absent in some upcoming posts. In the meantime, my sister and mom did some of their own organizing, making my return today much smoother than I anticipated.

The progress on the guest room was about 75% complete when I left, then with my sister’s help I returned to find the area about 83% done. As has been the pattern when I near the completion of an area, all I wanted to do today was just get the guest room finished.

I’m also keeping in mind that my preliminary and final deadlines (of Nov. 4 and Nov. 10 respectively) still stand. In order to be able to finish up the living room, dining area, and kitchen by the deadline, I need to finish the guest room in one day.

The “One Step Back” I’m referring to in the title of this post is this sad news: I don’t have a working camera with me. Therefore, I have no pictures for today, nor will I have pictures for the rest of the week, unless I can either 1) find the battery charger for my mom’s digital camera, or 2) find someone who is willing to let me borrow their camera for the next few days.

Not having a camera is unfortunate for three reasons:

1. It totally kills the consistency of documenting my progress
2. I can’t share the photos for you all to see, and
3. The work I did today is the most visually striking progress I’ve made thus far on the project.

This leads me to the “Two Steps Ahead” part of the title. Not only did I accomplish the Tier 1 goal for the day (i.e., sorting through the floor stuff in the guest room), I also accomplished Tier 2 (i.e., finishing the guest room), AND helped my sister move in to the room. We moved in her bookshelf, filled and organized it, and she brought in her guitars and school stuff. Basically all we have left to move in to the room is her clothes.

There’s finally a “normal” looking room in the house.

Accomplishing more than Tier 2 was just the first step forward. The second step?

HOT RUNNING WATER.

I’ve mentioned this briefly before, but my family has been living without hot water due to a broken water heater for years.

At first my dad didn’t want to get it fixed because he realized that having it off saved us some money and didn’t think hot water was much of a necessity. After a few winters with freezing cold showers, my mom wanted to get the heater fixed. Unfortunately by then clutter had built up around the water heater that we couldn’t get to it. Even when the heater was accessible, my family was too embarrassed to get someone to fix it because of all the mess.

Today, my mom somehow figured out how to fix the water heater on her own, saving us hundreds of dollars from hiring someone as well as some embarrassment. After seven years, we finally have hot running water again.

Guest room done, hot water, but no camera. Tomorrow I tackle the kitchen and dining area.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go take a hot shower.

It’s been a while since I’ve done a “Sharing Saturday/Link Love” post and because I’ve been doing quite a lot of reading offline, I’d like to spotlight some of the books that have been recently holding my attention:

[Disclaimer: Affiliate linkage ahead!]

It’s All Too Much by Peter Walsh

When I was first seriously planning out The Stuff Project, I did a bit of research that included reading blogs about hoarding, watching episodes of “Hoarders,” and reading what I could about the disorder. Although I’d been doing these things for a while before I thought up the project, in the weeks leading up to it I began to look specifically for concrete methods as to how I should tackle the monstrous beast that is my house.

Most of what I came across fell into two categories: resources that describe hoarding from a psychological perspective and resources for “normal” organizing methods (i.e., how to organize a filing cabinet, ways to use a hanging shoe organizer, etc.). I desperately searched for the book that could combine the two– a book that could explain solid methods to overcome or simply deal with extreme clutter (i.e., chronic disorganization or hoarding).

It’s All Too Much is exactly this perfect combination. It provides usable techniques for organizing a home one room at a time as well as addresses the emotional stickiness accompanied by extreme clutter, without getting into too much of the psychological nitty gritty jargon. I’m so thankful that I found it; it has managed to become like my cleaning bible. I feel like it’s been glued to my hands… whenever I’m not actually cleaning, that is.

Sell Your Crap by Adam Baker

Here’s my best summary of some of the main ideas from this guide:

Crap sucks and costs a lot, not just monetarily. Distinguish between what’s crap and what’s not and you’ll be surprised at how much crap most of it is. You will really, yes really become happy once you’ve cut out the crap. And you can make money (and pay off your debt) by selling it.

The stats and figures presented about the cost of clutter were incredibly sobering for me, so much so that I was literally in tears just pages into reading the guide. But even if before reading it you were already convinced that an excess of crap is bad, the guide provides an excellent step-by-step about how to free yourself from it.

Sell Your Crap addresses every excuse you could possibly come up with and gives detailed instructions on what kind of items to sell, where to sell them, and how. There’s even a list of charities you can donate your stuff to, organized by the kinds of items they accept. The guide is so detailed and thorough; it essentially does everything just short of doing the actual purging and selling.

I worked with Adam Baker several months ago, so it would be only fair to say that I’m slightly biased towards his guide. But I’d only recommend something if I truly find value in it, and in this case, I find Sell Your Crap to be genuinely invaluable. I have been and will continue to use the guide as a blueprint in setting up my brand spankin’ new eBay listings in the upcoming weeks.

The Simple Dollar by Trent Hamm

It was only after finally owning up to the fact that I’m growing up and need to start taking responsibility for my money that I started reading and learning about personal finance. At first, I didn’t think there would be any connection between it and home & office organization but the more I read, the more I realize that many of the principles applied to one can be applied to the other. The two seem to go perfectly hand in hand, especially considering that we need money to buy the items to fill our homes that in turn needs to be organized.

Though I’ve been following The Simple Dollar blog for a little less than a year, I just started reading The Simple Dollar book within the past week. Third chapter in, I’m already finding some really awesome gems that can apply not only to finances but to your approach on life.

In addressing whatever overwhelming obstacle you have (had) in your life, and how your attitude affects your success in achieving goals like overcoming debt, Hamm writes:

Every negative in your life is a positive... Your story has power–the ability to bring about positive change in others, no matter what their background…

If you’ve gone through something difficult… that’s not something to be ashamed of. That’s something to be proud of. You have the strength of character to survive obstacles that the people around you can scarcely imagine, and your story has the potential to inspire others. Don’t be ashamed–be proud of who you are, the good and the bad.

Debt can be an enormous beast to try and overcome, just like hoarding can be. As I read I will continue to connect the dots between debt and extreme clutter, and hopefully learn a few things about personal finance along the way.

The Art of Non-Conformity by Chris Guillebeau

Another blog-turned-book, The Art of Non-Conformity is essentially both a manifesto and a how-to guide to break the mold. As it has been mentioned in numerous other reviews, this particular book is not for everyone. If you’re open-minded, have a passion to follow your own path, help others, willing to challenge the status quo and take full responsibility for yourself, then this book is for you.

This book appeals to me because I’ve grown weary of the conventional life plan: going to school, going to college, then getting a job, getting married, starting a family, retirement, etc. There’s been something inside me itching for something more, something bigger and more meaningful and I’d love to observe the ideas of like-minded people. I’m almost half-way through the book.

Honorable Mentions

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

There’s a quote in the book that the author heard that helped changed the way she approached pursuing happiness in her life:

“What a wonderful life I’ve had! I only wish I’d realized it sooner.” – Collette

This hit me like a ton of bricks when I first read it. What kind of remarkable life am I living now that I’m blinding myself to?  I started reading this book and I hope to make time to finish it sometime soon.

What Should I Do With My Life? by Po Bronson

Once when I was hanging out at a book festival, I exchanged a quick glance with this guy who walked past me. I looked at the badge he was wearing, and for some strange reason I felt drawn to him. The next day, as I walked through town I decided on a whim to stop by a local used books store to browse. I saw What Should I Do With My Life and was struck by how appropriate the title was for how I was feeling. I’d been asking myself this question over and over again for the past several months. Then I saw the author’s name and realized that it was the same name I saw on the badge the man was wearing the day before.

I bought the book immediately and have been slowly reading bits and pieces since. Call me crazy, but when a series of events like that happen I can’t help but feel like I should just go with the flow. Needless to say, I’m still trying to figure out what I should do with my life.

What are some books that you recommend?

From the guest room:

Can you spot:

• Toy saw
• Married couple dancing
• Wedding favor
• A golden clothespin
• Jack (-in-the-Box)
• Santa Claus

Art by Banksy, Photo by DanBrady, via CC 2.0

Many of you have said that you are working on your own project. Be it cleaning out your office or your garage or even just doing a quick clean up, many of you have been inspired to work on your own project or perform small tasks regularly.

The question I have for you this week is:

What is your ‘Stuff Project’?

What’s a big (or small) endeavor that you’re currently working on? If you’re not working towards something now, what is a project that you can work on in the near future?  If you have a blog or website, now is your time to share it!  I want to learn about what you all are up to!

This particular update however is not about the progress that I made. I’ve been gone for a bit and I’ll be posting an update about that real soon, but in the meantime…

My sister has been working on the house while I’ve been gone.

I spoke on the phone with her the other day and she informed me that she had been doing her own cleaning while I’ve been out of the house. “What? Send me pictures,” I said. She got out her cell phone took some pics, uploaded them to the computer and emailed them to me.

Many of you have mentioned your concerns, hopeful that my younger sister has been learning a bit from me and didn’t get the hoarding bug like my parents. Well folks, fear no more.

Just some brief history:

The bedroom I was in in high school became my sister’s bedroom when I left for college. That red day bed/trundle (see below) is what I slept on. It was bought second hand, squeaky, and the screws kept falling off. During this project and the whole cleanup, we decided that my sister would move into what we’ve called the guest room (with a bed stacked on another to form a bunk) and convert her current room into a library/home office. The plan now is to get rid of day bed/trundle and one of the stacked beds in the guestroom.

Here’s my 13-year-old sister’s progress…

Last I posted, I’d been working on the bunk bed in the guest room. I just finished the top bunk and was about to tackle the bottom bunk. Here’s what it looked like when I left it:

And what it looked like after my sister had her way with it:

She cleared the bunk, cleaned UNDERNEATH the bed AND changed the sheets! I’ve got a tear in my eye.

Next she went to her room and essentially got rid of her bed. Here’s what her bed looked like on Day One:

My sister disassembled the day bed (with a trundle bed beneath it) by removing the frame and the mattress on top leaving only the trundle mattress and frame below:

This is one of those moments where I sigh and feel a great sense of pride for my favoritest seester in the whole wide world. :] She’ll get to move into her new room soon enough.

-

Side notes and trivia about the last two pictures:

Most of my stuff is in my apartment in the city I went to college. When I came back home for the project, all the stuff I have with me can be seen in the second to last picture above: dark purple Samsonite suitcase and black backpack on the right corner of the bed. That’s it. You can even see the black moleskine notebook that I use to document and take notes with for the project offline and the lime green case for the digital camera I’ve been using.

In the second picture there’s a bunch of dresses that were removed from the closet and now hanging above the bed. Those are my old dresses from various formals and events. Every single one of them will be either sold or donated. There’s a keyboard on the left side of that picture. Broken and will be donated or thrown away. Next to that is a gigantic wicker chair that used to be hidden by all the mess, but now we can sit on it! That’s probably going to be sold or donated as well.

Also… Barney bedsheets?!

Although I’m still struggling with “just doing it,” again I managed to make some progress today. I do think that the Butt-Kick incentives are really helping me stay accountable.

I’m sure Prince Eric and Aladdin are having a grand time.

Today’s Stats:

Number of hours spent: 5
Supplies purchased: None
Amount spent: $0
Number of (13-gallon kitchen) bags trashed: 0
Number of giveaway boxes: 0
Number of (33-gallon) giveaway bags:  0

Progress:

First of all let me explain the zeroes in the above stats. It rained today. I wasn’t about to try going in and out of the house all soggy and wet and get sick all over again. All of the trash bags and the giveaway boxes and bags that are both full and in progress are still sitting in the guest room. I’ll bring the full stuff outside first thing tomorrow morning.

Butt-Kick goals for today:

Tier 1: Top bunk in the guest room.
Tier 2: Bottom bunk in the guest room.

In the process of cleaning the top bunk, I came across a gigantic box of toys I used to play with when I was a kid, including most of my Barbie dolls.

I put them in the giveaway pile. I’d be lying if I said it was an easy decision.

I also came across a couple of boxes filled with plaques, certificates, trophies, medallions and various awards I received over the years. I really don’t know what to do with these. A part of me wants so much to keep them, but another part of me knows that I don’t really need them. I’m gonna mull over this Unclutterer article overnight before I make a decision.

Here’s what the top bunk looked like before:

And what the top bunk looked like at the end of today:

My sister enjoyed some time up there, and she even helped clean.

Meanwhile, all the giveaway items (and trash) piled up in the area I cleaned yesterday. What it looked like yesterday:

And what it looks like at the end of today:

Again, giveaway stuff and trash are all going out of the house first thing tomorrow, when it’s not raining. 99% of the items in this picture are going out the door eventually, including the furniture.